Today is my second day off. It’s about to get pretty crazy this holiday season. Working two jobs hasn’t been too bad so far. I don’t mind working cuz that’s more money being made, and it makes me feel like I’ve really done something with my day. What I DON’T like is having to be the responsible adult and using the majority of my paychecks on stuff like bills, shelter, and holidays. It seems like once you hit adulthood, you NEVER run out of obligations. Having kids just adds to them. Although I don’t have any kids of my own yet, I do have some I’m responsible for. Even that can be a task for a 24 year old like me. The more I think about it, the more I realize that if I DO have kids, it won’t be til I’m about thirty and even then I’ll prolly only have one two max…probably one. Holidays just haven’t been the same for me for a while. Christmas, Thanksgiving…all of that changes the older you get. The magic, the fun, the anticipation, with each year it seems to fade. I remember when my mom first told me there was no Santa Claus, that Santa Claus died years before I was born and that she was the one giving me all of my toys. Forget feeling sad or let down, I felt deceived. I thought, well if there really was no Santa, why did you lie to me? Why are there cartoons depicting the life and times of Rudolph and all his reindeer games. Is there really a North Pole on the map or did you trick me with that too? Sometimes I feel that if it were up to me, I wouldn’t spend an insane amount of money on gifts and decorations and food, I’d just eat a pizza and wait until New Year’s rolled around. But then I think that in spite of realizing that there was no Santa Claus or his reindeer and elves I still loved the anticipation of waking up on Christmas morning to see if I got my Super Nintendo and the Dream Phone game I asked for…the good feeling of eating some of my mommy’s dressing and greens, then us getting groomed to the nines to go to grandma’s house where we could get some more gifts from other relatives and eat some of my aunt’s famous banana pudding. That’s really what Christmas is about, the spirit of love. A love everlasting that God gives to us everyday whether we realize it or not. When I have a child, I want to make sure that their Christmas is as special to them, as mine were to me. I won’t be bitter. I’ll pour out a lil hot chocolate for Santa.