Growth is Painful but necessary in everything…

I was having a conversation with one of my good friends a few days ago about growth in a relationship, or lack thereof. I mentioned that I have been told that I behave differently around different people, but honestly it’s who I am as an empath and a lightweight people pleaser. The older I get the more I learn to observe without absorbing people’s quirks in an attempt to have them like me. I don’t need to. I am enough.

I am still who I am at the core. Christ-follower, honest, loyal, goofy, witty, intelligent, creative, observant, empathic, servant-hearted …and don’t forget sexy. (C) Peaches

Those parts of me will NEVER change, but the insecurities, irresponsibilities, doubts, goals and world view often grows and changes based on my experience and knowledge. There are things I know at 36 that I didn’t know or understand at 22. Sometimes I was forced to pick a side to stand on, other times I was the stool for others to stand on, on their way to a better understanding. I can testify to the fact that growth is important, especially as it pertains to relationships, romantic or otherwise.

I liken it to the metaphor of two seeds from the same fruit being planted. The seeds are planted in the same soil so they get the same nutrients and resources. Naturally they grow together and sometimes intertwine if they are close enough. The roots touch and grab hold of each other and dig a path that is firm and certain. They blossom and produce the same fruit around the same time.

Sometimes we think those we love are planted with us, yet you realize you never were. You are busy soaking up the light, water and air God gives you and they appear to be doing the same, but something is off. They reject the resources and stay hidden in the shade.

It is not, I repeat, not your responsibility to get them to grow with you. You can’t water a person that prefers staying dry. You can’t breathe where there is no air. At times I feel like a seed in the dark; resting beneath a canopy of tree boughs. But I take sips of sunshine and water. And I suck in breath through my lungs. I remember who I am, and whose I am. And I prepare to bloom.

Being the same is not always a good thing, because what if who you always are, isn’t the best version of yourself? I strive, everyday to be who God intended me to be. To make my actions line up with my words. To assess if I’m growing in the right direction so that His Will be done. To bloom in the Son.

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